please, please, please...

"let me get what I want, this time." - The Smiths

The last few weeks have been extremely turbulent for me. Either sad or anxious most of the time, I've been doing my best to stay composed, but I think that I am falling apart. I heard a Bhuddist dharma that goes something like, "if you are depressed, then you are living too far in the past... if you are anxious, then too far in the future."

To be honest, the present moment has been far from bliss.

Looking forward: I am so scared. It would take way too much time to explain Dr. Dave here, but for those who know, well, you'd understand the fear.

Looking back: The worst part of breaking up is the loss of my best friend. Jennette, you were bigger than you can ever understand. I depended on you. We got through a lot together. You saw me at my lowest J...

I wish I had been given the chance for you to see me at my best.

"You can't give your heart to a wild thing: the more you do, the stronger they get. Until they're strong enough to run into the woods. Or fly into a tree. Then a taller tree. Then the sky. That's how you'll end up if you let yourself love a wild thing. You'll end up looking at the sky."

- Breakfast at Tffany's, Truman Capote

"I often thought that if I had to live in the trunk of a dead tree, with nothing to do but look at the sky flowing overhead, little by little I would have gotten used to it." - The Stranger, Albert Camus

I used to pray for roots... I change my mind.

Dear God, I want wings.

corazon

"The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it?" - Jerimiah 17:9 (KJV)

My heart has been pumping poison lately... I can no longer trust it.